So now that I'm being open...I'm gonna open it up all the way!!! This weight loss journey is more that just what goes in my mouth- it has to do with what is going on in my brain. For this reason I have to find out what makes me eat what I eat when I eat. If I do not work on self-reflection, I will end up sabotaging myself even after the surgery.
I used to be an Oprah junkie(until I couldn't take her interrupting her guests*anyway*) She would have shows with guests that had weight loss surgery. One particular show featured guests who had weight loss surgery who had transferred their Food Addiction to Alcohol Addictions. One of the main reasons that they became alcoholics was because they could have multiple buzz(es?) in a short period of time with obviously small amounts of alcohol. I do not want to develop another addiction after semi-fixing the weight problem because if I do that, I will only address part of the problem which is what I put in my mouth not why I put it in my mouth (the brain part).
The why part has to do with almost every human emotion. I eat because I'm happy, sad, stressed, feelings of guilt, self-punishment, shame, etc... I'm working on figuring out this part. I know the whys but am working on figuring out different ways to deal with them other than by using food. Food can be disguised as love, a reward and comfort. Especially in New Orleans where we live to eat rather than eat to live, we incorporate Food in almost 98% (no scentific evidence to prove this) of our social occasions. Even as I am typing this, I am planning dinner dates with friends.Hmmmm....I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to change the behaviors that I have adapted over the last 31 years. Prayers would be appreciated, God knows I need them.:)
I will pray for you Kathy. I have two people that I am close to that have had the surgery and both look and feel so much better now than they did before. I know they would not mind speaking with you if you have some questions. Let me know.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this means much from a stranger, but I just had to say I am SO impressed by your amazing strength and commitment to this Life Change you have undertaken!
You don't know me, but I've known you for a while, thru working with Mike. We sit across from one another, trudging thru lots of often-times mundane and unchallenging tasks day to day. The doldrums are only broken when Mike shares adorable pictures or entertaining stories of Finn. One thing I have learned, is that it's always easy to know who's calling Mike, before he even says "Hey Babe", because he suddenly "lights up" when he know it's you. You mention he and Finn as the loves of your life; obviously you are the Love of his Life, and I wish I could remember to speak to my own spouse as kindly. I also admire your ability to be so candid on your blog, and I am sure it is helping lots of others understand this difficult journey. I wish with all my heart that everything goes great for you tomorrow, and that those post-op days are not too difficult. If you need a lift, just look over at one of those 2 great guys you have in your corner-you'll be able to smile again. Good Luck!